Totally Put Together … Yeah, Sure!

As I was bouncing and pacing with my littlest in the infant carrier, while waiting to pickup #2 at his dance class, all the time, spurring my oldest to FINISH YOUR HOMEWORK FOR HEAVEN’S SAKE, I was reminiscing about parenting woes with a few of the other moms …

My memory harkened back to a moment (or three) last year where my multi-tasking parenting prowess was clearly on display.

My oldest son also does dance (as I’ve said previously, I’m sure) and he was part of a program that had 2-3 classes each week. Whether he attended 2 or 3 was largely dependent on what else was going on in our crazy family schedule. He only NEEDED to go twice per week, so oftentimes he’d miss one of the classes in lieu of something else … maybe BMX or homework or just a freaking afternoon off. Well, the way our family sched worked, SuperDad would do drop off and I would dash out of work and handle pickup (often to head to another activity). Now, getting out of work for a 6:00 or 6:30 pickup can sometimes require a small miracle. There were many a time (as in almost every time) where I was literally running out of the office and peeling into the parking lot in order to pick him up on time.

Well, one evening I was running a bit late so I ran to my car, sweating like a small child wearing a full-face helmet, drove as fast as the somewhat slow and frustrating traffic would allow (AC blasting so I could quell the sweat a touch before seeing other grown adults who are more put together than I am) and drove into the parking lot at break-neck speed. I found the only spot in the lot (there’s a wine bar AND a frozen yogurt place in that particular shopping center, so naturally around 6:00 it’s packed), squeezed out of my truck trying not to destroy the paint on my and my neighbor’s doors and darted into the Studio. As I booked it down the hall (walk-running so as to not appear frantic) to grab my son who would be putting his shoes on by this point, I rounded the corner and got “the look” from the other moms … the “what in the hell are you doing here look” … after a tiny moment of delay, they broke the news … “Your Son didn’t come to dance today” they said with a wry and patronizing smile. AWESOME!

Of course, they then proceeded to try to make me feel better (and I say that sarcastically) … “Don’t worry, it gets easier,” one of the moms said.
Yeah, ladies … I’m not a tourist, this isn’t my first time, you have no FREAKING idea of the cluster that is my world so BACK OFF! Now, to be honest, I get somewhat heated when talked to like a newbie … particularly from anyone lucky enough to spend their afternoon gabbing over frozen yogurt while their sons/daughters attend 3+ hours of dance. We all have a few too many things going through our brains and arguably a few things too much on our plates … not to mention the extra cookie I snuck for breakfast this morning.

Anyways, I smiled politely, spun on my heels (not high heels, probably sneakers) and calmly walked back to my truck … texting my husband to thank him for not letting me know that our son had skipped dance for the day. And no, I wasn’t pissed … and no, this wasn’t the only time this same exact thing happened 🙂

Life is crazy (for everyone in my house and nearly every family to be honest). Most afternoon/evening routines make work-day stress seem like a vacation! As a mom at dance said so perfectly, “kids shouldn’t get in trouble for being late to class. Their teacher should politely let them know to tell their moms and dads to try not to be late since we’re the ones controlling (for the most part) whether kids arrive on time or not.” The second (and third) time this same mistaken-pickup situation happened were honestly just plain funny! And SuperDad and I established a pre-pickup comm-strategy to avoid this from happening a 4th time! Thank heavens for texting!

Happy parenting to all and to all a good nap!


Posted in Careering, Home Life, Playtime, Stay at Home Moms, Uncategorized, Working Moms | Leave a comment

Off Day on an On Day

Mighty Mom had a moment, back (a few years ago now) as she set off for her first day back  to work post-second baby-having … Now, to be honest, we all have “moments,” especially as we embark on a new routine on the home front (never mind work routine changes or God forbid, going back to work after having a little one.) Sometimes they last a few seconds, other times it’s an entire day of ridiculouslity. Here’s her (familiar) tale.


I think something was just off  … It was my littlest’s first day with the woman who will be watching him when I work now (same as Big Guy went to).  He was of course very upset when I left but he then screamed every time she tried to pick him up and refused to eat anything the whole day.  And if you knew him you’d think, WHAAT?!?! He is usually a pretty happy guy. Good times!
So, fast forward about 15 minutes post painful first drop off and I am driving to work … like a maniac, naturally. The two cars directly in front of me in the high-speed lane crash.  Luckily I had enough distance to stop but it was a screech for sure.  I quickly thanked my lucky (for the moment) stars and slid into a Stop and Shop parking lot to pump my milk before work … I stripped down (don’t worry, I’m in a two-door hatchback so there was plenty of privacy!), attached all the tubes and parts, and, yep, my pump won’t work … I had just replaced the batteries not that long ago so I didn’t expect this!  After wrestling with the pump and battery pack for a while, I frantically sprint across the parking lot (because i had parked at the far end for all that “privacy”) and into the grocery store to get more batteries.  Keep in mind that I have no bra on and big new-mama boobs so that was uncomfortable and likely noticeably awkward since that’s by no means my normal rack.  I dash in and start running through the store to find batteries.  Everyone in there is just meandering along … you know those people, the oldies and the mosiers, and there I am, all sweating and huffing.  I finally find the batteries and of course there are only two registers open, both with long lines.  There was a guy in front of me with a bunch of cans of soup and some laundry detergent (if only that’s what my daily grocery haul looked like).  The old-timer lady cashier rings his soup through and then starts ringing his coupons … but the coupons are for the detergent, which hasn’t even gone through yet.  She then starts to argue with this poor man, that he didn’t have the detergent.  He is arguing right back at her and neither of them realize they are still on the freaking belt.  I try to say something but can’t be heard over them and am trying not to just steal the batteries at this point because there was literally a clock ticking in my head as I was getting later and later.  Anyway, finally I make it through the line and sprint painfully back to the car, switch all of the 8 batteries and … the pump still doesn’t work.  Now I think there is something wrong with the pump itself, so I am wiggling and hitting it.  I fed my little one at maybe 4:30am and won’t be home again until 4pm.  And we are still in the 4-6 hour feeding intervals and I have to dance all day with ridiculous boobs that I am self conscious of in a stupid leotard … not pretty!  At this point, some jabroni, pulls up like one car away from me (in the middle of an empty section of the lot).  So much for my “privacy” … More wrestling ensues as I battle with the pump when suddenly, the pump starts!  So now I try to strip back down again and attach everything but something gets jostled and it stops.  Grrrrrrr … And now I can’t get it to start again.  I am really trying to stay calm and mostly just pray!  So I get everything ready and then start banging the battery pack and finally it starts.  I turn it on the highest power possible and pump away, trying not to move a muscle so it won’t stop again.
I was really anxious about how this first day would go for my little guy and my schedule, … apparently with good reason!  The flames were certainly burning on the sides of my face (if you haven’t seen the movie Clue, you should because it’s amazing), almost to the point of that terrible burning hair smell!
Side note, it took me three days to write this post. Happy parenting to all and to all a good nap!

Posted in Breast Feeding, Careering, New Mom, Uncategorized, Working Moms | Leave a comment

Back With Something I Never Expected

If you had asked me a year ago, when I last published a post (pretty much … it’s been a crazy year) that today I would’ve put a newborn footie pajama suit onto a tiny 6 pounder, complete with a pink flamingo on it, I would’ve called you “crazypants.” The idea that tiny shorts with ruffles on the butt would enter this household NOT in a guest’s luggage, and wouldn’t immediately be converted into a Star Wars Clone Trooper battle ship parachute was pretty nutzo until just one week ago. That was the day our littlest nugget and our first baby girl entered our world.

Yes, we pondered the possibility throughout the arduously long (I was a mega-complainer this go-round so apologies to anyone that knows me) pregnancy, but it never was something that could’ve been reality. We, after all, are “boy-makers” here at the Momster household. And while the not-knowing was tough (mostly for everyone else in our inner and outer circIMG_1807les), the finding out was such sweetness! Our doctor has been along for the ride for nearly 9 years now (and three boys), so I’m sure it was super fun actually performing the reveal!

She has hair like Rapunzel (only a bit shorter of course), sounds like a pterodactyl attacking a cat when we change her diaper and is absolutely as sweet as can be. Her big brothers (even the youngest who was a bit less excited initially) are wrapped around her teeny tiny finger. And Super Dad, well he’s pretty fun to watch, because while I think it was a scary idea having another one of “us” (a girl that is) join the family dynamic, he’s perhaps the most excited 🙂

Welcome to the world, Baby Girl!



Posted in Pregnancy, Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Maybe My Classiest Parenting Moment in a While

What’s classier than a two-year old rolling around the carpet of a fancy restaurant? Well, I’m lucky enough to know.  And it wasn’t switching between a chair, a high-chair and a booster seat about 10 times before the waiter brought out the much-needed “hold ’em till dinner” free bread. That was just a bonus so that I felt like I got a workout for the day.

So what is classier?

It’s when you, attempting to avoid using your “nasty mom voice” to get him to stand up for the 15th time in about 20 minutes, bend over to pickup the little gremlin and have a tampon fall out of your shelf-bra tank top and roll halfway across the restaurant. And no, it’s not a tiny little tampon that could be mistaken for a salt capsule or large vitamin pill (which the older folks in the establishment might totally understand) but a big one … like a Super or Super Plus … the kind you don’t show young teen girls when getting into the wonderful world of womenhood, because it’s frankly a bit frightening. It’s also the one that you always purchase in the self-check out lane at the grocery store. Yeah, I’m a grown up but I still don’t feel like making eye contact with a 15-year-old check out dude mid-lady product check out.

As I squatted down with my son halfway picked up but in a full back bend in an attempt to not be pick-up-able, I shimmied across the restaurant military-walk style to rescue the bullet before a waiter stepped on it and slipped and fell.

I’m not sure how many people noticed. Frankly I don’t care too much. I was definitely laughing (out loud) at the predicament. The quiet and polite family next to me didn’t seem at all amused, whose 12-ish year old daughter was buried deep in her iPhone. I’m not sure if the mom remembered the days I was in the middle of. She was likely wondering why a grown woman was able to wear a shelf bra tank top … or why I didn’t have any pockets like a normal human.

The sign of a great parenting moment is when you’re able to laugh at the ridiculosity of what’s happening even when you’re still in the middle of it. This was one of my favorites in a while. Parenting is a beautiful thing … and always pretty classy!

Posted in Home Life, New Mom, Stay at Home Moms, Working Moms | Tagged | Leave a comment

Resolution Moment of Truth

As the back-to-school season gets into full swing (AKA take-two on New Year’s resolutions for me personally), I am reflecting back on my “goals and objectives” for 2015. On the fitness/athletics front I do have a few things I’d be pleased with achieving for the year but I’m not one for sharing (and then having to cop to not succeeding) … maybe that should’ve been one of my resolutions. Anywho … on to what I came here to talk about …

Here’s a question I have for all of you out there who have resolved to do something race-related … be it a triathalon, running race (5K, half or full, or 100 miler) or bike race … when you realize that you’re going to be walking up to the start line rather unprepared (life has a way of intervening on that pesky training thing sometimes), do you scrap it and get your entry back, scrap it and not get your entry back (which sounds stinky but sometimes it’s worth the monetary loss) or just saddle up and line up at the start line to give it your best shot?

Every year I try to make an effort to hit a race or two … a few big guys to keep me honest and in the “acceptably fit” zone. Ideally I’d run at least one marathon (or longer than a 15K) each calendar year … not too difficult, you’d think.

However, in 2012 I realized as we approached October, that I hadn’t gotten my race in for the year. So I said, what they heck, I’ll do a marathon that I’ve run before … the first time, at 10 weeks pregnant. I knew I wouldn’t be in the right shape to do anything magnificent but I figured, if I can run it amidst the throws of morning sickness and tiredness, then it couldn’t be too difficult out of shape, right?!?!

Oh, how wrong I was! I made it across the line, despite getting near dehydrated around mile 10 and a side stitch at mile 14 that lasted for about 4 miles. And when I was nestled in my jammies that evening, sore as heck and still a bit nauseous, I pulled out my trusty planner with all the information I need for any situation and flipped to the well-worn sticky note in the back to see that I’d run the race 30 seconds SLOWER than the previous time.

Lesson: running a marathon completely unprepared is about the exact same as running it in decent shape but 10 weeks pregnant. Fancy that.

This year has been no different. I wanted to knock out my one “mandatory marathon” early and wouldn’t you know it, I proved once again that I am not my 25-year-old self that can just show up and muddle through an epic endeavor like a marathon.  However, as I make my back-to-school/end of year resolutions (which is a totally real thing) I am quickly running out of time to knock out a “successful” running race … and my 10-miler last weekend wasn’t the reinforcement I need to make me feel like I can just wing it at a big race in the next 6 weeks.

Posted in Exercise, Home Life, Running | Leave a comment