What’s classier than a two-year old rolling around the carpet of a fancy restaurant? Well, I’m lucky enough to know. And it wasn’t switching between a chair, a high-chair and a booster seat about 10 times before the waiter brought out the much-needed “hold ’em till dinner” free bread. That was just a bonus so that I felt like I got a workout for the day.
So what is classier?
It’s when you, attempting to avoid using your “nasty mom voice” to get him to stand up for the 15th time in about 20 minutes, bend over to pickup the little gremlin and have a tampon fall out of your shelf-bra tank top and roll halfway across the restaurant. And no, it’s not a tiny little tampon that could be mistaken for a salt capsule or large vitamin pill (which the older folks in the establishment might totally understand) but a big one … like a Super or Super Plus … the kind you don’t show young teen girls when getting into the wonderful world of womenhood, because it’s frankly a bit frightening. It’s also the one that you always purchase in the self-check out lane at the grocery store. Yeah, I’m a grown up but I still don’t feel like making eye contact with a 15-year-old check out dude mid-lady product check out.
As I squatted down with my son halfway picked up but in a full back bend in an attempt to not be pick-up-able, I shimmied across the restaurant military-walk style to rescue the bullet before a waiter stepped on it and slipped and fell.
I’m not sure how many people noticed. Frankly I don’t care too much. I was definitely laughing (out loud) at the predicament. The quiet and polite family next to me didn’t seem at all amused, whose 12-ish year old daughter was buried deep in her iPhone. I’m not sure if the mom remembered the days I was in the middle of. She was likely wondering why a grown woman was able to wear a shelf bra tank top … or why I didn’t have any pockets like a normal human.
The sign of a great parenting moment is when you’re able to laugh at the ridiculosity of what’s happening even when you’re still in the middle of it. This was one of my favorites in a while. Parenting is a beautiful thing … and always pretty classy!