Off Day on an On Day

Mighty Mom had a moment, back (a few years ago now) as she set off for her first day back  to work post-second baby-having … Now, to be honest, we all have “moments,” especially as we embark on a new routine on the home front (never mind work routine changes or God forbid, going back to work after having a little one.) Sometimes they last a few seconds, other times it’s an entire day of ridiculouslity. Here’s her (familiar) tale.

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I think something was just off  … It was my littlest’s first day with the woman who will be watching him when I work now (same as Big Guy went to).  He was of course very upset when I left but he then screamed every time she tried to pick him up and refused to eat anything the whole day.  And if you knew him you’d think, WHAAT?!?! He is usually a pretty happy guy. Good times!
So, fast forward about 15 minutes post painful first drop off and I am driving to work … like a maniac, naturally. The two cars directly in front of me in the high-speed lane crash.  Luckily I had enough distance to stop but it was a screech for sure.  I quickly thanked my lucky (for the moment) stars and slid into a Stop and Shop parking lot to pump my milk before work … I stripped down (don’t worry, I’m in a two-door hatchback so there was plenty of privacy!), attached all the tubes and parts, and, yep, my pump won’t work … I had just replaced the batteries not that long ago so I didn’t expect this!  After wrestling with the pump and battery pack for a while, I frantically sprint across the parking lot (because i had parked at the far end for all that “privacy”) and into the grocery store to get more batteries.  Keep in mind that I have no bra on and big new-mama boobs so that was uncomfortable and likely noticeably awkward since that’s by no means my normal rack.  I dash in and start running through the store to find batteries.  Everyone in there is just meandering along … you know those people, the oldies and the mosiers, and there I am, all sweating and huffing.  I finally find the batteries and of course there are only two registers open, both with long lines.  There was a guy in front of me with a bunch of cans of soup and some laundry detergent (if only that’s what my daily grocery haul looked like).  The old-timer lady cashier rings his soup through and then starts ringing his coupons … but the coupons are for the detergent, which hasn’t even gone through yet.  She then starts to argue with this poor man, that he didn’t have the detergent.  He is arguing right back at her and neither of them realize they are still on the freaking belt.  I try to say something but can’t be heard over them and am trying not to just steal the batteries at this point because there was literally a clock ticking in my head as I was getting later and later.  Anyway, finally I make it through the line and sprint painfully back to the car, switch all of the 8 batteries and … the pump still doesn’t work.  Now I think there is something wrong with the pump itself, so I am wiggling and hitting it.  I fed my little one at maybe 4:30am and won’t be home again until 4pm.  And we are still in the 4-6 hour feeding intervals and I have to dance all day with ridiculous boobs that I am self conscious of in a stupid leotard … not pretty!  At this point, some jabroni, pulls up like one car away from me (in the middle of an empty section of the lot).  So much for my “privacy” … More wrestling ensues as I battle with the pump when suddenly, the pump starts!  So now I try to strip back down again and attach everything but something gets jostled and it stops.  Grrrrrrr … And now I can’t get it to start again.  I am really trying to stay calm and mostly just pray!  So I get everything ready and then start banging the battery pack and finally it starts.  I turn it on the highest power possible and pump away, trying not to move a muscle so it won’t stop again.
I was really anxious about how this first day would go for my little guy and my schedule, … apparently with good reason!  The flames were certainly burning on the sides of my face (if you haven’t seen the movie Clue, you should because it’s amazing), almost to the point of that terrible burning hair smell!
Side note, it took me three days to write this post. Happy parenting to all and to all a good nap!

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About The Momster

The Momster is the mother of three little boys, living in North Carolina. A former bike racer, she currently works stupidly long hours in advertising and marketing, runs stupidly long distances for the sake of sanity and has made it her life mission to find Patience.
This entry was posted in Breast Feeding, Careering, New Mom, Uncategorized, Working Moms. Bookmark the permalink.

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